Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance...

Some days it hurts more than others.
Sometimes I can fool myself into pretending we're both just busy with different pursuits.
And then some days, I want so much to blather, or share an observation, or process or discuss. Or just laugh about something. And you're not there.
I remembered today how you told me I was a blessing. That you felt compelled to remind me of that, and did just that, for several weeks, in almost every email. Why didn't I save those emails? Because I didn't realize all the emails we traded would come to an abrupt end so soon.
Did I tell you often enough that you were a blessing to me?

I was going thru some old emails that I did save... some of the early ones where Em, Jill, you and I were chatting. "Reply All"... I found the one where I asked about your writing process. I didn't have the heart to read it just then. I put it in a folder to read another day.

I want to lay on the floor and kick my feet and scream "It's not fair!"

I think I'm in the anger place today.
Denial isn't so disruptive.
What will acceptance feel like?